I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
