Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
