and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize