The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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