How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize