South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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