Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
