hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
