Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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