cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
