We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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