I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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