I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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