Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
