either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
