Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
