wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
