I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
