Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dignity is for republicans.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
