I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
