Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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