just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
party gras won. party gras always wins.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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