She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
