You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
