Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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