Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
im holly from the hills drunk
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
