He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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