My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
