you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize