the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
