Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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