Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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