So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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