My balls are so social today.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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