Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize