bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
