Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
