He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize