I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
