Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
we're so committed to being not committed
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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