If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
