so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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