I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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