apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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