Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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