I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
