two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
