walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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