I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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