four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
