I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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