Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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