it was like eating out sand paper
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
