SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
