Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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