Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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