I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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