Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
