his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
