then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
