Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
