dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Terrible idea I love it
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize